Mom My Ride
Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
The sideview mirror makes it real…
Monday, March 12th, 2007How do you work this thing?
Friday, March 9th, 2007
Tim watches Ze Frank and Jonathan Coulton with me.
You can watch them, too. Quick, The Show is almost over (sniff, thanks Ze!)
I’m so old…
Monday, February 19th, 2007Too late for last minute but…
Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
A chat with my son
Thursday, February 8th, 2007Andy is a man of few words. Just how few is evidenced by his side of an AIM conversation we had yesterday. I edited out my side- because the beauty is in his replies. Notice the longest statement he makes is about football…
(AIM names changed obviously- please don’t try to find me by adding “mom” to your buddy list!)
mom: …
andy: HEY
mom: …
andy: caps lock
andy: what up
mom: …
andy: yes
andy: it was pointless
mom: …
andy: they just said exactly what was on the flyer
andy: it was about 5 min long
mom: …
andy: lies
andy: no attendence or anything
mom: …
andy: i got the letter here
mom: …
andy: i need moneyssss
mom: …
mom: …
andy: fine
mom: …
mom: …
andy: whaaat
andy: what do i owe you
mom: …
mom: …
andy: urgh fine
mom: …
mom: …
mom: …
mom: …
andy: exciting
mom: …
andy: nice
mom: …
mom: …
andy: dece
mom: …
mom: …
mom: …
andy: nicee
mom: …
andy: always
mom: …
andy: very good
andy: italian dinner
andy: godly
mom: …
andy: yeah
mom: …
andy: nice
mom: …
mom: …
andy: yea it was so depressing tho when vinateri missed the field goal at the end of the half
andy: cost me 15 bucks
mom: …
mom: …
andy: lol
mom: …
mom: …
andy: bye
mom: …
Maria Bamford is back
Thursday, February 1st, 2007Watch this.
Laugh.
(”mature content” = f-word)
Childbirth reimagined as a thrill ride?
Thursday, January 25th, 2007Thingamababy: Baby Patent History: Labor and Delivery by Centrifuge
…The mother is then spun around and around at a speed the gynecologist has predetermined will be sufficient to dislodge the infant (or as the patent states, “the fetus”). The apparent maximum g-force for the machine is 7.
The mother’s head is positioned at the center of the machine to reduce her head’s rotation, as if that will somehow make the experience more pleasurable. This also presumably concentrates as much puke as possible in and around the mother’s face, rather than having it flung outward toward hospital staff. Or maybe the circular fence acts as a shield.
…
When the infant is successfully ejected from the mother, a “pocket-shaped reception net” catches the infant. Don’t worry, the baby is cushioned by a “thick wad of cotton” in the net.
Furthermore, when the baby lands on the “cotton bed” inside the net, its weight exerts force on a switching plate which then turns off the centrifuge. The patent notes that the switching plate can also be configured to ring a bell at the same time.
Phbbbbbt! *ding!*
The
carniegynecologist then pulls a hand brake to quickly slow the mother’s rotation so that she can safely exit the ride.
Click through for illustrations!